Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
