i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
