I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
soo... how was my night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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