windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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