I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
