I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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