On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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