Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
