ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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