I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
