last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
