So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
