Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
