I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
whose parrot is this?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
