note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
