god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
