I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
