talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
