I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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