who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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