is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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