I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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