Where is the hickey?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
