Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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