Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
