If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
