your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
