Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
