Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
