Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
