Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
