it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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