): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
