His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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