I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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