in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
