Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
