Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize