Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
