worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
