dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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