Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
