Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
