hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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