I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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