yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
