Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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