It's like a parade of train wrecks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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