She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
