What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
