I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize