I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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