She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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