Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
