Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
