if i died would you start the facebook group?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
