We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Two words: blizzard sex
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
