the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize