just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
