'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
