So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We need to rekindle our bromance
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
