I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My bed smells like the plague
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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