whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
