On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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