This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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