that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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