i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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