Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I won't apologize to a one balled man
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
