he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
