Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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