Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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