I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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