It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
