I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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