I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i believe in u and ur pee
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