Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
